Today I found something wonderful!!!!
Something totally unexpected...
It all started yesterday...
I was so sick of seeing our garage piled up with the stuff from 4 maternal people's houses sitting there in bins, waiting to be put into a new place or given away to someone that could actually enjoy them...
Something kept nagging at me to get started to go through this stuff - stop putting other stuff first... and being my birthday yesterday - why not? It's like my new years...
The above picture is what it looked like before I got started...
After dropping Chloe off at school and running errands, I spent the majority of yesterday afternoon and today in the garage, going through stuff to donate, stuff to go through with my family, and stuff to put into the house.
The very last box today was a box of items that are my brother Nick's.
I took a quick look inside, and noticed that there were some old school projects, report cards and so on from not just Nick, but things from my sister, myself and my mom...
I didn't get very far into looking into it because I happened to flip through, and glance at this progression of pictures...
Immediately seeing the last one I burst into uncontrollable tears of happiness...
This was taken in October, 1986:
The top left says: Nicholas Adam Yarrusso: 4 years old
These are the hands of my little brother...
He is now almost 27 years old.
Yes, these are from a photocopier...
My brother is such a goofball...
He has always been...
Very cute giving the peace sign...
And hands in prayer...
Wow - what a cute kid!
But then I realized - he wasn't alone...
Mom was there with him...
This is my mom's hand...
Her hand that I knew so well...
Her hand that I used to hold...
Her hand that used to keep me safe...
Her hand that would comfort me...
Her hand that did SO much (she was right handed)...
Her hand that I would hold onto and tell her it was going to be okay...
I have a picture of my mom's hand...
...my mom's hand!
My heart is healed so much more right now...
And thank you Joan T...
You were right - I do have more within me that connects me to my mom that nobody can take away...
Thank you for reminding me of that...
I think it helped push me to go through some of that stuff in the garage...
Helped me start to clear my mind a bit...
And to reach yet another level of being...
Thank you mom for being so goofy with Nick too!
Dave and I were giggling at the idea of you standing there with him, having him put his hands on the copier and doing different stuff with them...
Thank you for giving us your hand again - especially now when we are all needing it most!
2 comments:
Marsha...sometimes I get thinking about your mom (how did she make such an impression on our lives?) and then I take time to look at your blog about her. Today when I scrolled through the pictures of the photocopies of little Nick's little hands and came upon the last one with your mom's hand...well, I had to catch my breath. It is ethereal. I know your heart is hurting about her things and where they are, but she left you so many other treasures and this has to be one of them. The best treasure that she left all of us though is such a clear memory of her.
Hi Marty,
I just saw that there was a comment waiting here (oops...).
Thanks Marty, your words mean so much... For those of us who really knew mom and were touched by her in our lives - we see stuff like this as the treasures she left behind...
I was so moved by this - instant tears. And that has NEVER happened before. Not so instant and so overwhelming... And to find it on my birthday too... How can I not know she is with me always?
And another funny thing. Mom loved Christmas right? Well, Chloe was due 12/26 and arrived 3 weeks early (12/8) so we had her with us during that first Christmas without mom.
We have a 2nd baby on the way, due Jan. 13th, and if my blood pressure gets high again during this pregnancy at the end, they will induce me - probably right around Christmas.
Tell me mom doesn't have a say in that right? Like I said - she is with me always, and it's important to see that in everything. And it's a treasure to be able to see it in everything - there is always an upside to any situation...
I hope all is well with you and your family! Let us know if you are ever back in DE so we can have a visit with you!
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