There are some days when I deeply miss my mom being around. Then there are the days that feel like we just haven't talked for a while (it was not uncommon for us to go a month without a phone call between us).
I think that since mom died before I had Chloe, I never got to experience what it was like to have her around as I was learning the ropes of becoming a mom myself. And now that our second child is here, time seems to be filled with an even newer kind of life. The life that revolves around this new family unit of four (plus cats)... And that life before kids seems so long ago, and so different...
My feelings often touch on the guilt of not being overly sad that she is not here, but I know better... I know that she is here through me. Through my outlook on caring for Chloe, Riley, and Dave. Through making the most out of where you are right now in your life. And to consider what is the most important things, and focus on that...
Like this little guy:
Feeling guilty is not a focus. Guilt from a lot of situations inflicted from external family members is to just be dropped. I only have so much time, and my health and family come first. And those who can't see past themselves need to wake up a bit...
Ok, it's out - I feel much better now (temporarily off my mind until I speak to that person in actual being)...
Had some pretty "my mom was there" experiences with my pregnancy and labor with Riley and will post about them later...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
2 comments:
oh, marsha he is so beautiful! and you are right about your priorities! stick to what you know to be true - your mom is there and beaming! xoxo
hope you are all well!
wonderful sincere thoughts. My own mother dies when I was only 6 weeks old. After having kids I REALLY understood more. I hope she was not afraid for us(there were 4 of us). I had a wonderful step mom who is my mom.
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