I always knew there was a special bond between my mom and my brother…
There was something they shared, that I just didn't get…
I don't think I ever will because that was something very special between the two of them.
And that is ok with me.
It always has been.
There was never jealousy about it - just rolling eyes and laughter…
People tell me that there is something special about a mother and a son that just isn't the same with a mother and a daughter…
I'm not quite sure that I get that entirely yet. Don't know if I ever will…
I know things come in time and with experiences…
It is amazing how your heart swells with love and happiness when you hold your children…
And when your children want to hold you back.
I have that with both Chloe and Riley and I hope that never changes.
My brother always loved to be close to my mom.
Even when she was in the hospital with her Leukemia, I would come in to visit her and he would be sitting there, in bed next to her - arm around her, snacking on goodies (tootsie rolls, twizzlers, and Lorna Doone cookies mostly) and watching TV. And you could tell that she loved every doting moment of it… As only a mother could… Well, not only a mother… I saw how happy it made my mom to have him there treating her normally - just as if they were hanging out at home, watching the television late night when he was little… And that filled my heart with such peace. Always will...
My mom was the kind of mom that would sit with you and just rub your back.
That is one of the little things I miss most about her not being around - that gentle, effortless, comfortable contact that only my mom could give…
Tonight, Chloe curled up on me as if she were a baby as we sat down to a very rare moment of family TV time. She has not done that in a while. She is quite the independent almost 3 year old. I could have held her there in my arms laying upon me forever, just rubbing her back and cuddling with her…
Then tonight as Riley needed to be rocked back to sleep, I just sat rocking him, humming softly to him, listening to his night time music, and just gazed upon his little sleeping face in the dimly lit room and thought to myself - if only my eyes had cameras to hold his baby face here in my memory…
Then I remembered that I had taken this picture not that long ago during a daytime nap when he fell asleep in my arms…
I wonder if this is how it starts.
That bond between a mother and a son…
Only time will tell...
