Sunday, September 12, 2010

Three Years Today

The hour of 2 o'clock in the afternoon is almost past...
You have been gone from us for three years now…

Why is it that I am fine most days…
Could care less at times about anniversaries…
Dave and I just laughed that I said this year would be our 5th wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks (um - it's 6 years!)

But emotions tend to get mucky when this anniversary happens…
It has in some ways, made other anniversaries more special…

To make you realize that you only have so much time to celebrate special moments with those you love when they are here to celebrate it with you…
In many ways - to celebrate every day you have like it is an anniversary, because in a way it is…

To think that tomorrow I will feel better, happier, not so on the verge of tears is something I am hanging onto right now…

That day three years ago was a day of watching the clock...
Waking up knowing that it was the day you were going to die…
Knowing that the 9 o'clock hour is when we would gather…
Knowing that the 12 o'clock hour is when you would be taken off life support…
Then everyone watching the clock because you held on longer than we thought you could…

Then you slipped away, amongst the voices of your children laughing together about a memory of you, and surrounded by loved ones…

Today I really miss you mom...

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